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park-ho
I work directly with couples and families to help resolve marital and family problems.
I'm a licensed therapist who treats the psychological and mental issues related to families or marriage. In my line of work, I provide guidance and mediation for clients, either in groups or individually, to help address problems that need resolving.
Blended families have a lot of issues
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park-ho followed this discussion
Studies show 66% of second marriages involving children from previous marriages end. The stress all members of a new blended family go through may factor into this. Stress in a new family situation is normal. The transition may appear to have gone well. Even then, there is often some stress. The term"blended family" might imply a smooth transition. But the early years of a blended family are likely to be difficult
What are some of the additional challenges that blended families have to deal with?
marley.judd followed this discussion
In my experience, it is the seemingly endless push/pull between the insecurity the children and the “step” parent feel in the relationship. The children consistently seek validation and reassurance that they have not been replaced in some way by their parent’s new spouse. At the same time, the new spouse needs to know that he or she is loved and valued in the marriage.
I remember one of my stepsons, Timothy, when he was around 8 asking his dad if Timothy and I were both in a position to be hit by a train and his dad could only rescue one of us, who would it be? Obviously, there is no “right” answer to this question and it was important for his dad to answer the question behind the question - Dad, do you still love me? Dad, have I been replaced
The divorce rate for second marriage is high. Why?Many reasons. Often the kids don’t like it and act out. Often people discipline differently and it causes stress. Also, financial issues arise because there are so many mouths to feed. I could go on and on.
Really the top challenges of blended families is building continuity. When blending two families have already been established. By merging two family you are merging two cultures and asking both to change to accommodate a new system.
The best way to blend families together is through communication
Reply to marga-huang
Really the top challenges of blended families is building continuity. When blending two families have already been established. By merging two family you are merging two cultures and asking both to change to accommodate a new system.
It's a bit like taking an Apple and an Orange and making a smoothy requires blending with sharp blades, the result is a wonderful thing but requires pain to blend them together
Sibling rivalry is usually a key problem
Visitation or conflict between separating parents can cause stress. Conflict between stepparents and parents that live outside the new family can also increase stress. Another point of potential conflict is any new step-siblings. It can take time for children to adapt to the new family structure.
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I was a 28 year old widow with two young children who married a 36 year old widower with four children. I had almost no hurdles to overcome with the children or with my parents his late wife’s parents. However, my husband’s mother treated me as if I was “the other” woman in a divorce suit. His first wife’s parents treated me as part of the family, and I will always treasure their memory. Our blended children and our child from the remarriage are all adults who get along well.
Some adults enter a blended family with no children of their own. They will take on the parental role for the first time as stepparents. Getting used to this new role can cause even more stress
Reply to julia.grey
Some adults enter a blended family with no children of their own. They will take on the parental role for the first time as stepparents. Getting used to this new role can cause even more stress
DEFINITELY! It can be difficult for someone entering a new relationship. It can be hard to balance being liked by a stepchild and parenting them well. It often takes time to adjust to parenthood. It can also take time to gain acceptance from a partner's children.
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Children may struggle with feelings about a new stepparent. They might be used to treating their parent's partner as a friend. Becoming a blended family can change this dynamic. When their"friend" takes on the role of parent, the child may come to resent them. They may feel their new parental figure seeks to"replace" their other parent.
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