park-hopark-ho

I work directly with couples and families to help resolve marital and family problems.

I'm a licensed therapist who treats the psychological and mental issues related to families or marriage. In my line of work, I provide guidance and mediation for clients, either in groups or individually, to help address problems that need resolving.

Blended families have a lot of issues

Drop file here to send
Blended families are on the rise. According to a 2013 study conducted by the Pew Research Center, 40 percent of new marriages include at least one person who was previously married. And 20 percent of weddings feature two people who have both been married prior.

Many of those remarriages involve children who are thrust into a world of “steps”—stepmothers, stepfathers, step-siblings, step-grandparents. Becoming a stepfamily doesn’t always go as seamlessly as it appeared to on the Brady Bunch. Bringing two families together under one roof can be quite challenging.

Don’t expect your families to meld together overnight. According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, it can take one to two years for blended families to adjust to the changes. But parents who are proactive in reducing and addressing potential problems can make the adjustment period smoother. https://www.verywellfamily.com/biggest-problems-blended-families-face-4150230
This discussion is set to be archived. That means the discussions lasts just a few days, while people can comment. After that no one can comment but the discussion can still be viewed
park-ho
park-ho followed this discussion
Host
Admin
Studies show 66% of second marriages involving children from previous marriages end. The stress all members of a new blended family go through may factor into this. Stress in a new family situation is normal. The transition may appear to have gone well. Even then, there is often some stress. The term"blended family" might imply a smooth transition. But the early years of a blended family are likely to be difficult
1 y
Host
Admin
What are some of the additional challenges that blended families have to deal with?
1 y
marley.judd
marley.judd followed this discussion
Host
Admin
In my experience, it is the seemingly endless push/pull between the insecurity the children and the “step” parent feel in the relationship. The children consistently seek validation and reassurance that they have not been replaced in some way by their parent’s new spouse. At the same time, the new spouse needs to know that he or she is loved and valued in the marriage.
1 y
Host
Admin
I remember one of my stepsons, Timothy, when he was around 8 asking his dad if Timothy and I were both in a position to be hit by a train and his dad could only rescue one of us, who would it be? Obviously, there is no “right” answer to this question and it was important for his dad to answer the question behind the question - Dad, do you still love me? Dad, have I been replaced
1 y
Host
Admin
The divorce rate for second marriage is high. Why?Many reasons. Often the kids don’t like it and act out. Often people discipline differently and it causes stress. Also, financial issues arise because there are so many mouths to feed. I could go on and on.
1 y
Host
Admin
Really the top challenges of blended families is building continuity. When blending two families have already been established. By merging two family you are merging two cultures and asking both to change to accommodate a new system.
1 y
Host
Admin
The best way to blend families together is through communication
1 y
Host
Admin
Really the top challenges of blended families is building continuity. When blending two families have already been established. By merging two family you are merging two cultures and asking both to change to accommodate a new system.
It's a bit like taking an Apple and an Orange and making a smoothy requires blending with sharp blades, the result is a wonderful thing but requires pain to blend them together
1 y
Host
Admin
Sibling rivalry is usually a key problem
1 y
Host
Admin
Visitation or conflict between separating parents can cause stress. Conflict between stepparents and parents that live outside the new family can also increase stress. Another point of potential conflict is any new step-siblings. It can take time for children to adapt to the new family structure.
1 y
10 more people followed this discussion
Host
Admin
I was a 28 year old widow with two young children who married a 36 year old widower with four children. I had almost no hurdles to overcome with the children or with my parents his late wife’s parents. However, my husband’s mother treated me as if I was “the other” woman in a divorce suit. His first wife’s parents treated me as part of the family, and I will always treasure their memory. Our blended children and our child from the remarriage are all adults who get along well.
1 y
Host
Admin
Some adults enter a blended family with no children of their own. They will take on the parental role for the first time as stepparents. Getting used to this new role can cause even more stress
1 y
Host
Admin
Some adults enter a blended family with no children of their own. They will take on the parental role for the first time as stepparents. Getting used to this new role can cause even more stress
DEFINITELY! It can be difficult for someone entering a new relationship. It can be hard to balance being liked by a stepchild and parenting them well. It often takes time to adjust to parenthood. It can also take time to gain acceptance from a partner's children.
1 y
Host
Admin
This comment has been removed
1 y
Host
Admin
Children may struggle with feelings about a new stepparent. They might be used to treating their parent's partner as a friend. Becoming a blended family can change this dynamic. When their"friend" takes on the role of parent, the child may come to resent them. They may feel their new parental figure seeks to"replace" their other parent.
1 y