katerina-janacekkaterina-janacek

Children are the world's most valuable resource and its best hope for the future.

I have worked with children, young people, and families for 29 years and has a vast amount of experience as a Project Coordinator, Mediator, Restorative/Youth Justice Officer, Family Support Worker and Children Centre Manager. She has worked within teams including Child Protection, Children Looked After, Children with Disabilities, Youth Inclusion, Youth Offending, Early Years and is currently the Parenting Team Manger for Early Start . I was born and educated in Newham and has a wealth of knowledge about the borough, local services and the demographics. I am committed to equality, parental choice and providing high quality services. Throughout my career my approach has been to enable families through a solution focused and practical approach to be resilient and independent.

How Would You React to Your Teen's Pregnancy?

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If your daughter is pregnant and planning to have the baby, many changes await your family. And though it's certainly not what most parents expect, it happens every day: nearly 250,000 teenage girls in the United States give birth every year.

https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/teen-pregnancy.html
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katerina-janacek
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Some parents feel a sense of guilt, thinking that if only they'd done more to protect their child this wouldn't have happened. And although some parents are embarrassed by their teen's pregnancy and worried about how family, friends, and neighbors will react, others are happy about the news of a soon-to-be grandchild — especially if the teen is older and in a mature relationship.
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If your teen is about to become a mother (or your son has fathered a child), it can be overwhelming for all of you. How can you support your child through the challenges that lie ahead?
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laurence.baker
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Three weeks ago My wife sent me a text while I was at the supermarket asking me to get a pregnancy test for our 15 year old daughter as she was saying that she was late for her period. We thought that she had her dates wrong as she told us that she had not had unprotected sex.

I brought the test home and gave it to my daughter, telling her to do it when her younger siblings were not around. a little later our daughter called my wife from the bathroom. As my wife was on the telephone I went instead and knocked on the door.
When I entered my daughter just pointed at the test, a very clear two lines confirmed that she was indeed pregnant.

My reaction was shock at first but, then I went into autopilot. My wife and I sat down with our daughter and asked her how she felt about it and what she wanted to do next. We didn't get angry and we made it clear that whatever she wanted to do we would support her. My daughter said that she definitely would not have an abortion and that she wanted to keep the baby.
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If your teen is about to become a mother,it can be overwhelming for all of you
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Devastated. We parents hope for better and brighter lives for our children, than the ones we had. I hope and pray that I’m never in this situation, nor my daughter.
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If your teen is about to become a mother,it can be overwhelming for all of you
I agree! It can be devastating for the parents and overwhelming for the child.
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A teen pregnancy crushes many hopes and dreams, and makes the prospects of college education or finding a job to love — much, much more difficult with a baby. Even the prospects of ‘what if’ (e.g. abortion, adoption) puts my baby in a position to have to make adult decisions.

Truth is, there is no “right” choice. As a parent, I would be devastated — but not forsaken. I will tell my daughter that I will support her, no matter what decision she makes. She will indeed have to make a decision, as it is her body and it is her baby.

Yet I will be there for her no matter what. After all, she’s my baby.
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I had a child at 16. I am now 32 and my daughter is 16. She is not sexually active (I, of course, have let her know that though I love her dearly, getting pregnant does indeed take away the freedom to find yourself, get a real education, find a career that you love and be rightfully selfish as you live your life, explore the world, and become who you are.) You can salvage a good life and do your best, love your child deeply and be the best parent you can be. But it is infinitely harder than a teen might imagine, and requires an enormous degree of selflessness. No one should become a parent before they are mature enough and have learned how to take care of themselves. And you just aren't there at 16. I barely felt ready when I had my second at 25! (And some people never are!)

The main thing that stands out is that in all of it, I never really felt like I had choices. There is always a weight in your heart with the burden of responsibility. And the shame, and the fear of failure. And of course the day to day tasks of caring for a child aren’t easy, and kids are expensive! I never regretted my choice because of who she is, and what she has meant to my life. But she knows how hard it was, she was there.

So to answer the question. If she became pregnant, I would be devastated, knowing fully how this would impede her life as an incredibly intelligent, empathetic, and driven young woman. I would encourage her to have an abortion. If she was adamant, I would encourage adoption. Again, this may seem hypocritical, but it still doesn't mean I regret my choice. I don't even want to imagine my life without her in it. But I wouldn't want it for her. Parents always want a little better for their kids, right?
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1 y
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I had a child at 16. I am now 32 and my daughter is 16. She is not sexually active (I, of course, have let her know that though I love her dearly, getting pregnant does indeed take away the freedom to find yourself, get a real education, find a career that you love and be rightfully selfish as you live your life, explore the world, and become who you are.) You can salvage a good life and do your best, love your child deeply and be the best parent you can be. But it is infinitely harder than a teen might imagine, and requires an enormous degree of selflessness. No one should become a parent before they are mature enough and have learned how to take care of themselves. And you just aren't there at 16. I barely felt ready when I had my second at 25! (And some people never are!)

The main thing that stands out is that in all of it, I never really felt like I had choices. There is always a weight in your heart with the burden of responsibility. And the shame, and the fear of failure. And of course the day to day tasks of caring for a child aren’t easy, and kids are expensive! I never regretted my choice because of who she is, and what she has meant to my life. But she knows how hard it was, she was there.

So to answer the question. If she became pregnant, I would be devastated, knowing fully how this would impede her life as an incredibly intelligent, empathetic, and driven young woman. I would encourage her to have an abortion. If she was adamant, I would encourage adoption. Again, this may seem hypocritical, but it still doesn't mean I regret my choice. I don't even want to imagine my life without her in it. But I wouldn't want it for her. Parents always want a little better for their kids, right?
I can only imagine how hard it would be to be a parent a 16! I was shallow and busy with my social life at 16. I can't imagine being responsible for another life. I commend you!
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My half-sister, who is now in her thirties with four children, first got pregnant at 17.

My father, who she was living with at the time, was completely supportive of her. He did everything he could for her during her pregnancy while her mother did not and only called her derogatory names. My mother, her step-mother, was also completely supportive and tried to do everything in her power to make my sister comfortable.

My mother was, also, a result of teen pregnancy. My grandmother had my mother when she was seventeen and when my grandmother was eighteen, she married my grandfather. From my understanding, my great-grandparents were completely supportive of my grandparents and their decision to keep my mother. Even in the 1960s, my great-grandparents didn’t go over-board in their negativity.
10 mths
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I think the best thing to do for your daughter is to be kind to her and to support in her any decision she makes. If she wants to keep the child, support her. If she wants to put the child up for adoption, support her. Hell, if she wants to abort (even if you don’t support the decision) support her.

There is nothing more comforting in the world than parents you can count on in times of need. Especially when you’re about to bring another human being into the world.
10 mths
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I don't have a daughter so this is hypothethical. She is not a child. She is not, at 16, operating with as fully developed a brain as someone roughly 20-22 or older*, nevertheless this fact should not give me or anyone else any right to determine her future in the pompous manner i've seen 'adults' treat teenagers.

My biggest concern is not her economic future, not her moral calibre or social status, not even her education. My biggest concern is that i must now deal with my failure to inculcate in her one of my most deeply-held values: Leave it better than you found it.
10 mths
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A few months ago, my 16-year-old cousin told me she was pregnant. The look on her face was a combination of fear, worry, and hopelessness.

Immediately, other family members informed her of how she had ruined her life, made things harder for herself, and offered their opinions about what she should do.
10 mths
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I would wish to have raised my daughter so that i could have encouraged her to explore the bonding aspects of sexuality while reserving the reproductive possibilities for a more propitious socio-economic, ecological setting. I expect to wish i'd been there to help direct her parental instincts toward a few of the millions of already-living children suffering under the current systems near or far.
10 mths
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I would wish to have raised my daughter so that i could have encouraged her to explore the bonding aspects of sexuality while reserving the reproductive possibilities for a more propitious socio-economic, ecological setting. I expect to wish i'd been there to help direct her parental instincts toward a few of the millions of already-living children suffering under the current systems near or far.
We can only hope that as parents we taught them well enough to know what to do when the time comes.
10 mths
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