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lucy.talbot
I'm interested in meaningful discussion
My husband is terrible in bed for 30 years
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Sex is an important factor in a couple's relationship. It is when you and your wife/husband ultimately become one. It creates bond and memories that only you two can share. If your wife/husband is not doing pretty well in bed, better tell the truth so that he/she can improve. If he/she doesn't listen, tell him/her what could possibly happen in the relationship if it still being ignored. I believe that anything can be resolved if both will communicate, and cooperate.
What are your thoughts about this? Do you think sex is more important than love?
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If sex has always been a problem why stay with him if that is important to you? You have actually done him as much harm as you have done yourself. I'm afraid I have little sympathy for the wife given her inability to communicate with her husband over a massive amount of time. Now what is he supposed to do? How is he supposed to react to his 'repulsing' her? My advice, spend the rest of your life making this unspeakable wrong up to him and learn to love him again like you presumably did at some point. If your needs are not being met, communicate with him. The alternative is this all comes out and you leave him broken by the news that he has spent three decades with someone who is repulsed by him and who for some strange reason failed to tell him.
If sex has always been a problem why stay with him if that is important to you? You have actually done him as much harm as you have done yourself. I'm afraid I have little sympathy for the wife given her inability to communicate with her husband over a massive amount of time. Now what is he supposed to do? How is he supposed to react to his 'repulsing' her? My advice, spend the rest of your life making this unspeakable wrong up to him and learn to love him again like you presumably did at some point. If your needs are not being met, communicate with him. The alternative is this all comes out and you leave him broken by the news that he has spent three decades with someone who is repulsed by him and who for some strange reason failed to tell him.
She said though that she tried to explain that foreplay is important but it went in one ear and out the other. So I think she did try to explain. There are some partners that really do not listen to what you are saying and maybe they just don’t know how to change. If she is saying foreplay is important, he should be smart enough to pick up on the fact that he needs to do it and add it to the routine, just saying.
She said though that she tried to explain that foreplay is important but it went in one ear and out the other. So I think she did try to explain. There are some partners that really do not listen to what you are saying and maybe they just don’t know how to change. If she is saying foreplay is important, he should be smart enough to pick up on the fact that he needs to do it and add it to the routine, just saying.
30 years though!
'I stressed the importance of foreplay but it just went in one ear and out the other'
Bloody hell, your poor ears :(.
30 years is her own fault.
30 years is her own fault.
Sadly many women have no choice as they have nowhere to go and their families are ashamed of them if they leave.
I understand her! Some men have zero sensitivity about the woman they are with and many times is all about them and their feelings. If that is the case wouldn’t you also start feeling after years and years of the same unsatisfying relationship that the person next to you is in many ways repulsive? A man that is so self centered that doesn’t understand that sex is more than just doing it. A man doesn’t know that you need to know the other person intimately and what that person likes or not, is better off with a doll than with a woman.
I understand her! Some men have zero sensitivity about the woman they are with and many times is all about them and their feelings. If that is the case wouldn’t you also start feeling after years and years of the same unsatisfying relationship that the person next to you is in many ways repulsive? A man that is so self centered that doesn’t understand that sex is more than just doing it. A man doesn’t know that you need to know the other person intimately and what that person likes or not, is better off with a doll than with a woman.
If you're not putting effort into helping the relationship change. You're as guilty.
Like him yet find him repulsive? Been like that for 30 years? There are a few inconsistent details here. I suspect you're looking for encouragement to leave. Show him that letter, and I wouldn't blame him if he left. You can't have your cake and eat it.
Reply to rob.cook
Like him yet find him repulsive? Been like that for 30 years? There are a few inconsistent details here. I suspect you're looking for encouragement to leave. Show him that letter, and I wouldn't blame him if he left. You can't have your cake and eat it.
Why shouldn't she have her cake and eat it? Men do all the time. Actually she should find herself a lover and stay with the husband she likes but doesn't fancy. The best of both worlds, men do it, so why shouldn't a woman?
Reply to rob.cook
Like him yet find him repulsive? Been like that for 30 years? There are a few inconsistent details here. I suspect you're looking for encouragement to leave. Show him that letter, and I wouldn't blame him if he left. You can't have your cake and eat it.
This woman hasn't had cake for 30 years, can you blame her for being grumpy?
Reply to rob.cook
Like him yet find him repulsive? Been like that for 30 years? There are a few inconsistent details here. I suspect you're looking for encouragement to leave. Show him that letter, and I wouldn't blame him if he left. You can't have your cake and eat it.
Sounds like she's not getting any cake in the first place.thinking face
Meaningful communication would have helped at some point in the past 30 years.
Meaningful communication would have helped at some point in the past 30 years.
eah, she said he doesn't listen tho.
Reply to rob.cook
Like him yet find him repulsive? Been like that for 30 years? There are a few inconsistent details here. I suspect you're looking for encouragement to leave. Show him that letter, and I wouldn't blame him if he left. You can't have your cake and eat it.
"physically repulsive" doesn't necessarily mean that she doesn't like his looks. perhaps she means that he doesn't touch her in a way that it pleasurable, that he literally rubs her the wrong way. Sounds to me like, after 30 years of that, she cringes at, or is repulsed by, the idea of his touch. Also sounds like if they could figure out how to stop this long trek to the bottom, they are otherwise alright. . . and maybe she cares enough about him not to have come out and said,"you suck at this." but, the longer the incompatibility persists, the more frustrated she (and probably he) becomes, particularly if she feels like she hasn't been heard in the past. Agree that meaningful conversation is needed. Hopefully, she will take the advice to see someone who can help her with her side of the conversation, even if he won't.
"physically repulsive" doesn't necessarily mean that she doesn't like his looks. perhaps she means that he doesn't touch her in a way that it pleasurable, that he literally rubs her the wrong way. Sounds to me like, after 30 years of that, she cringes at, or is repulsed by, the idea of his touch. Also sounds like if they could figure out how to stop this long trek to the bottom, they are otherwise alright. . . and maybe she cares enough about him not to have come out and said,"you suck at this." but, the longer the incompatibility persists, the more frustrated she (and probably he) becomes, particularly if she feels like she hasn't been heard in the past. Agree that meaningful conversation is needed. Hopefully, she will take the advice to see someone who can help her with her side of the conversation, even if he won't.
Well it won't be meaningful if he refuses to participate. It takes two to tango.
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