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Parents are robbing their children of adulthood

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By host - emily-grey
Helicopter parenting is so 20th century. Some affluent parents now are more like snowplows: machines chugging ahead, clearing any obstacles in their child’s path to success.
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THIS ---> Snowplow parents have it backward, Ms. Lythcott-Haims said: “The point is to prepare the kid for the road, instead of preparing the road for the kid."
5 mths
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One came home because there was a rat in the dorm room. Some didn’t like their roommates. Others said it was too much work, and they had never learned independent study skills. One didn’t like to eat food with sauce. Her whole life, her parents had helped her avoid sauce, calling friends before going to their houses for dinner. At college, she didn’t know how to cope with the cafeteria options — covered in sauce.
5 mths
sydney-sageevan-smithabid.rai
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When I worked as an Academic Advisor, a parent told their son that he should not take the class I recommended (in his plan of study) because this would prevent them from watching Jeopardy together.
5 mths
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I do not worry about this even one little bit. The mean age of people I work with is early 20-something. They have all figured out room mates and condiments by the time they get to me. They are, in my opinion, way better than I was at their tender age. The kids are all right.
5 mths
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Maybe there are to many obstacles and less good paying jobs so parents are trying to help insure that their kids have a better chance of not living in poverty.
5 mths
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If I’d called my mama to ask for help facilitating these kind of tasks or interactions, she would have immediately flown from KC to Florida... to smack me upside my head. Then she would have flown home with a smile on her face.
5 mths
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My parents and I are immigrants and my parents didn’t speak English or have knowledge of the college process or even have a high school education. I was the first one in my family to go to college and had to navigate SATs, applications, financial aid, etc. on my own. Not that I don’t wish I didn’t have more help so things could’ve been easier, but the experience made me stronger, independent and gave me confidence. I had no choice if I wanted to make something of myself.
5 mths
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When I graduated from college many years ago, I went to Europe on my own for 6 months. I had saved money from working summers and part time in college, and found a way to get a work permit for 3 months in London. My parents had a friend in London, and I visited him all the time waiting for him to employ me and ask me to live with his family. After a couple of weeks, he suggested that I go back home since I hadn’t found a job and was still staying in a a B&B. I immediately went out that day, found a job at Selfridges and a shared flat. I hadn’t tried because I grew up with a helicopter mother before they were called that. At the end of the summer, he took me out to dinner (the only time) and said that he knew I wanted him to take care of me, but that if he had, I would never have known I could do it myself. The best favor anyone ever did for me was not doing me a favor. It led to great opportunities such as being offered an expat position because they knew I had successfully done that on my own.
5 mths
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As a college professor, I see this a lot these days. Young people fail to launch and run home to their parents when college is too overwhelming for them. That's when parents should know that they have failed. But they don't. Oftentimes, they just let the kid come home and start bulldozing other obstacles out of their way. And those kids will be at home with them when they are 50. It's sad that some parents do this to their kids.
5 mths
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If you have more than 1 child, you are *maybe?* less likely to do all this stuff. With 1 kid, all your attention and focus can go towards removing obstacles.
5 mths
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I think their intentions are good, but anxious parents raise anxious kids. And a lot of this is driven by anxiety. Just sayin'...
5 mths
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