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summer.atkins
Your happiness is your responsibility - Not your partner's
Certified Life, Relationship, & Breakup Coach. I write columns, make advice videos, and help both singles and couples improve their relationship dynamics. I am a frequent relationship contributor on various talk shows. I always look to bring a compassionate sense of mindfulness, combined with a background in multi-cultural studies and international travel to my sessions. I embrace diversity of religion, orientation, ethnicity, race, and creed into my practice.
Rethinking Infidelity
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I believe that a person in certain point of his or her life in a relationship can commit a mistake. But it should not be the end of the relationship, we should see it as a test or a challenge. Ask yourself, what is it teaching me?
What's your opinion on this?
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edward.james, nerry2, nerry3 and 7 others followed this discussion
This illustrates the importance of self worth. Relying on others for validation is a fools errand.
Brilliant! Every thing she said was completely true for my relationship. He cheated, I found that our relationship grew, I grew, he grew, in the aftermath. He didn’t deny it, very important, and answered my questions with honesty and sincerity. I’m pretty sure, my confidence, that it had more to do with us than just him helped him feel safe to reveal his true feelings. It’s incredibly empowering to dig deep and be completely honest with each other, we were married 23 years until his death at 55.
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Cheating is in essence breaking a consciously made mutual decision/ agreement to keep your intimate physical relationship exclusive. That exclusivity is a way to show that you find the other so special and so unique, you need not anyone else. So breaking that agreement leads to a feeling of being deeply rejected. So I don't mind all these different views on relationships but in all these forms the essence is that you both are on the same page. Not promising the other one thing and doing another thing. Truth, transparency, and respect.
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Cheating is in essence breaking a consciously made mutual decision/ agreement to keep your intimate physical relationship exclusive. That exclusivity is a way to show that you find the other so special and so unique, you need not anyone else. So breaking that agreement leads to a feeling of being deeply rejected. So I don't mind all these different views on relationships but in all these forms the essence is that you both are on the same page. Not promising the other one thing and doing another thing. Truth, transparency, and respect.
Our culture lead us to the opposite of our nature. Any agreement that has this base will fail.
Our culture lead us to the opposite of our nature. Any agreement that has this base will fail.
Exactly. Anyone is free to pursue a life of multiple sexual partners. No one is entitled to lying and deceiving someone they made a lifetime vow for. Be honest, end your monogamous relationship, and go about your life.
Reply to kurt.lane
Exactly. Anyone is free to pursue a life of multiple sexual partners. No one is entitled to lying and deceiving someone they made a lifetime vow for. Be honest, end your monogamous relationship, and go about your life.
But it's not so simple. People attach to the person in many different ways. They have security, familiarity often finances, kids so leaving a partner that gives all of that bc of the need to pursue sex with different people seems like a bad business... So they prefer lie with this one thing and keep many other things that keep their psychology in tact... Unfortunately this how it works..
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But it's not so simple. People attach to the person in many different ways. They have security, familiarity often finances, kids so leaving a partner that gives all of that bc of the need to pursue sex with different people seems like a bad business... So they prefer lie with this one thing and keep many other things that keep their psychology in tact... Unfortunately this how it works..
Sounds like victimhood to me or codependency. Or both.
It is all about choices. Daily choices. And sticking to them, or not. Being honest, or not.
It is all about choices. Daily choices. And sticking to them, or not. Being honest, or not.
Choices with a gun pointed to your head is not exactly choices. Culture is the gun. Only the ones who are brave enough will choose.
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