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Sexist "first dance guidelines" by church
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While church or school regulations can be rather strict, it's understood that they were created in order to maintain a certain kind of decorum while in a place of worship or learning. However, one church, in particular, took it way too far when they issued"first dance guidelines" to girls - yes, just the girls - attending a dance.   The guidelines read,"You don't want the embarrassment of being asked to go home and change. And you don't want the guy dancing with you to feel uncomfortable because of the questionable outfit that you somehow justified." Therefore, not only was the church suggesting that there are ways to be embarrassed about the clothes a girl wears, but also that they should be held responsible for the way boys feel about their clothes.Now, while the guidelines state this, they also affirm,"Never say no to a guy who had the courage to walk over and ask you to dance in the first place. A song lasts approximately three minutes, it's not THAT bad." To that, we only have one thing to say: It definitely is THAT bad. There is no reason a girl, especially one attending her first ever dance, needs to feel compelled to say yes when she does not want to. Way to fail at teaching consent in the very early stages where it matters most. Strangely enough, the guidelines also ask girls to bring a friend - but be"approachable" enough for a boy to ask them to dance. 
What are your views about first dance guidelines issued by the church?
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My daughter will be taught to say yes or no according to her own judgement and desires. If a boy approaches her respectfully but she does not wish to dance with him, I expect that she will decline with tact and respect. We need to teach our sons and daughters boundaries.. just because our sons ask for something respectfully doesnt mean they are entitled to it. And on the other hand, just because our daughters are asked respectfully doesnt mean they are obligated. But everyone should show kindness and respect.
Yes I remember I was about 18-19 at a New Years event for a relatives military group
I was having a conversation with my uncle about his marine research and someone asked me to dance 
I said no thank you as I was in the middle of a conversation
Awhile later his cousin/uncle/ brother asked why I wouldn’t dance with his relative after all his father was a general! 
I said it would have been rude to interrupt my uncle while he answers a question I had asked 
I might have danced with him later but I certainly wasn’t going to now.
We need to teach boys to be bold and respectful gentleman, not teach girls to be weak and obedient damsels... my son will be taught to have courage but always be respectful. My daughter will be taught that no one has the right to make her do anything she doesn’t want to.
Whoever wrote these guidelines has some serious issues of her own to address, and I hope she does not have children, but she probably has a son. This is not the work of a guy, even if it serves to protect a male's ego. This is waaay old school debutante prep mentality. I hate to speculate, but I have to blame a brain-washed female for this crap. And it has zero business coming from a place of worship and sanctuary.
Of course we're not happy about it. It's putting the onus for the guys' behavior on the girls, when the guys should be responsible for their own behavior.
I always told my daughters to not decline an invitation to dance for this very reason. A little kindness goes a long way.
Girls should deny any invitation they don’t want to accept
How about we teach girls to approach the boys THEY want to dance with, that they don't have to do anything they don't want to do and that"No, thank you" is a complete sentence?
Oh, and while we're at it, why not teach the boys that they are NOT entitled to whatever they want, just because they want it?
Can't believe this even needs to be spelled out
Should read if you ask and someone turns you down for a dance, don’t get mad, be proud you were brave enough to ask, and also respect his or her decision. If more men were taught to tend to their own egos and fewer women were expected to cater to them, relationships might be better.
People really need to get things in prospective. What hell are we trying to do to our future of our children. Wake up it as simple as respect one another. Believe in one self, love yourself.
Let's teach our children how to handle love, disrespect, hurt, self- esteem. All this make Johnny feel good is not working. There is nothing wrong with failure you learn from it. You learn from winning and losing we all do not need trophy.
Wow. I'm surprised it didnt tell them to smile because it makes them look pretty. So glad I had the wherewithal to leave this church when I turned 13
Were the boys given a kit? This is wrong on so many levels. Boys need to be taught that no means no at a young age. No matter what it is reference to. A girl might go ask a boy to dance, this is 2019. This looks like something from 1965. If my daughter received this, I'd be in the principals office so fast their head would spin.
We were told in primary school (Catholic school in the 90s), that if a boy asked us to dance, we were not, ever, to say"no". Girls are still being told that boys'/men's feelings come before their own, hey?
Everything society places on women, there in writing, on one page. Look nice, never say no, if something goes wrong it was your fault for doing too much or too little.
These First Dance dress code ‘guidelines’ would instil so much fear of being ‘sent home’ because of the ‘questionable outfit’ you ‘somehow justified’ that most would probably turn up in a nuns habit.
Wonder where the ‘what was she wearing’ mentality comes from?
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