janette.lanejanette.lane

I have a little boy who means the world to me

Working Mom vs Stay-at-home Mom

Drop file here to send
Moms today are constantly criticized by their parenting style, e.g., they may be judged because they discipline their children differently than others. Or, maybe one mom opted to not breastfeed and the majority of the breastfeeding population judged her for it.

https://wehavekids.com/parenting/Stay-At-Home-Mom-Versus-Working-Mom
This discussion is set to be extendable. After it expires, the content will remain, but all guests will be removed. After that if any guests decide to join it, more days will be added to the discussion
janette.lane
janette.lane followed this discussion
Host
Admin
This comment has been removed
1 y
Host
Admin
Our children are all uniquely wonderful. Our bodies were developed differently from others. AND our belief systems will never be identical to someone else's. With that said, the fact that people are continuously judging the SAHM (Stay-At-Home Mom) and the Working Mom is ludicrous! For the love of mankind, take a step back and know a person before telling them that everything they are doing for their family is dead wrong!!

What's your opinion on this?
Edited
1 y
arnav.puri
arnav.puri followed this discussion
Host
Admin
There are two parts to this question: choice and quality of child care.

Empirical data on day care for infants through kindergarten says no, children do not fare worse, but also that it varies according to quality of child care. Quality of child care is most often a factor of money, so it may be reasonable to presume the quality of care for offspring is lower within lower SES (socioeconomic status) families or communities.
Edited
1 y
Host
Admin
There are two parts to this question: choice and quality of child care.

Empirical data on day care for infants through kindergarten says no, children do not fare worse, but also that it varies according to quality of child care. Quality of child care is most often a factor of money, so it may be reasonable to presume the quality of care for offspring is lower within lower SES (socioeconomic status) families or communities.
I agree! NOT ALL SAHMs are GOOD MOTHERS so it is a matter of quality too.
1 y
Host
Admin
I’m not sure that we can answer this definitively, as there are so many variables in a child’s life to consider: emotional health, physical health, education, and financial well-being. We would also have to look into whether the benefit is simply from having a SAHM, or is the benefit actually from having an intact 2-parent family unit that is financially secure enough so that one parent can stay at home and care for the children?
1 y
Host
Admin
I’m not sure that we can answer this definitively, as there are so many variables in a child’s life to consider: emotional health, physical health, education, and financial well-being. We would also have to look into whether the benefit is simply from having a SAHM, or is the benefit actually from having an intact 2-parent family unit that is financially secure enough so that one parent can stay at home and care for the children?
You have a point! There's no scenario that would be the same with all families.
1 y
Host
Admin
I don’t know about all children (although, as an expert on child development, I might have a clue…) but I know for myself, my children, my grandchildren, my nieces and nephews, we were ALL better off when our mom stayed home/when we stayed home, etc.
1 y
Host
Admin
I don’t know about all children (although, as an expert on child development, I might have a clue…) but I know for myself, my children, my grandchildren, my nieces and nephews, we were ALL better off when our mom stayed home/when we stayed home, etc.
That's great for your family!
1 y
Host
Admin
Some people say it’s quality over quantity, and although quality certainly does count (what good is a mom at home if she is abusive, or neglectful and talks on the phone all day, etc) I will say that having good quality mothering and nurturing, at home, especially when children are newborn to school age, is the best for children.
1 y
Host
Admin
Some people say it’s quality over quantity, and although quality certainly does count (what good is a mom at home if she is abusive, or neglectful and talks on the phone all day, etc) I will say that having good quality mothering and nurturing, at home, especially when children are newborn to school age, is the best for children.
I agree that we should always choose quality time over frequency.
1 y
Host
Admin
Not necessarily. My mother was a stay at home mother Til I was about 11. And to me I knew no other way. I felt sorry for the kids who had to go to after school care and couldn’t have play date s or just go home relax and have a snack or get the homework done, or know if I want to do an activity my mum can take me. When she went back to work though it was a positive thing for me to see her achieve things for herself and work hard. And it gave me some independence.
1 y
Host
Admin
Not necessarily. My mother was a stay at home mother Til I was about 11. And to me I knew no other way. I felt sorry for the kids who had to go to after school care and couldn’t have play date s or just go home relax and have a snack or get the homework done, or know if I want to do an activity my mum can take me. When she went back to work though it was a positive thing for me to see her achieve things for herself and work hard. And it gave me some independence.
I agree! Moms are role models too and the mom's life doesn't stop just because she has kids. She should also be able to do what she wants.
1 y
Host
Admin
I can’t say much now about how will my daughter turn out as compared to other children with SAHM. This answer will be unfolded with time.

But there is one thing which I am sure of is: I won’t be happy if I stay at home. Having a work experience of more than a decade, it is really tough for me to stay at home. I don’t seem to have a purpose if I don’t earn, may be because I have enjoyed the financial independence ever since I graduated.
1 y
Host
Admin
I can’t say much now about how will my daughter turn out as compared to other children with SAHM. This answer will be unfolded with time.

But there is one thing which I am sure of is: I won’t be happy if I stay at home. Having a work experience of more than a decade, it is really tough for me to stay at home. I don’t seem to have a purpose if I don’t earn, may be because I have enjoyed the financial independence ever since I graduated.
It doesn’t matter if the mom is a stay at home mom or a working mom.. All it matters is if the mom is a happy mom or not!! Happy Mom = Happy child!!
1 y
Host
Admin
Generally speaking, no. I don’t believe that children were better off with one parent not working, and I will explain why.

This perpetuates the myth that women, mostly, are useful for just one thing: having and raising kids. Oh, and cleaning house, cooking, and running errands. This is particularly detrimental for female children, who then grow up and, despite their many talents and innate skills, marry and become housewives themselves. Male children, having seen the same thing in their mothers, expect that in the women they marry.
1 y
Host
Admin
My mother was an O.R. nurse. She didn’t stay home making cupcakes for my class because her calling was helping people who could not help themselves. The best advice she ever gave me was this: have your own career and make your own money.

Thank you, mom! I love you bunches for being a role model, an inspiration, but mostly for having a profoundly positive impact on society. If I’d had kids, I would have raised them the same way my parents raised me, down to the very letter.
Edited
1 y
Type your message...